Here Comes Voltaire! And He's Bloody Pissed Off!

Voltaire's Excellent Adventure! 

Gatsby, Booze, Voltaire, and HOT Philospher Action is coming your way...! 

Arthur Graham and Martin Gibbs have officially fallen off the deep end and present the latest in bizarro terror and filth:

François-Marie Arouet, better known as Voltaire, is back and ready for action! Armed with only his wits, his wig, and his mighty cleaver (which he did not have in 1484), our daring and dangerous hero accepts a critical mission to save some very minor characters from F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby.

Wait, did you say MINOR characters? Who CARES if Klipspringer or the owl-faced man die horrible deaths?

The Universe cares, that's who. Its very fabric could be torn asunder, leaving gaping holes in time, space, and the plot of this very book. Should Voltaire fail, the consequences will be unacceptable. For you, Dear Reader, shall awaken in the morning married to the boil on the Queen of Spain’s buttock.

Pain, suffering, sex, squirrels, and advanced weaponry pervade this towering work of modern-day literature. Those who hold The Great Gatsby in high esteem will fawn over this nouveau look into its world, composing dissertations on its scope and the in-depth philosophical questions it raises.

Voltaire's Adventures Giveaway!!!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Voltaire's Adventures Before Candide

by Martin D. Gibbs

Giveaway ends February 20, 2014.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

60 Flavors of Paranoia - "Ex Ordo Chaos"

Thanks to the crazy fun crew over at 69 Flavors of Paranoia!


A short story I wrote is now up and available for free: It is a tale of chaos, order, despair, and the end of the Universe!

<a href="http://www.69flavorsofparanoia.com/ex-ordo-chaos-order-chaos/" target="Blank">http://www.69flavorsofparanoia.com/ex-ordo-chaos-order-chaos</a>

I've Signed on With Ellechor!

I've landed a deal with Ellechor, a Christian Publishing House, for the three kings' books, and two more books as yet to be titled... I'm thinking of "Echoes of the Nativity" or something like that for the theme. One does not have to read all books in order, but they do relate to one another.

It is a very exciting time!

The Spaces Between

Things come around full circle it seems! My publisher tried out a few cover concepts, which I absolutely loved, but we're back to the original, as it were. I think I like this one better:

Nasty old Ar'Zoth there in his tower, possibly eating chestnuts; patiently waiting to kill anyone who stops by for a visit. Or maybe that is someone else? One of the travelers perhaps?


--> Thanks to all the readers who have given great reviews. I appreciate it. Although I wish someone would mention the dirty little twist...

Glib-Glub Glibbitty Glub

Glib-glub, glibitty glub,

There is a man in my tub;

Sexy hot smoking little roly-poly bub:

Hair on his back. He’s got a mix-tape to dub.

Glib-glub, gluttony gub,

Rivers of cheez-whiz poured over snails;

Suds soak through and soil their tails:

                        Little Roly-Poly sucks the juice and hits Record.

Glib-glub, glistening tub,

            Upon the floor is a little shrub;

We eat the berries, though they shimmer:

                        Poison scars my throat; Meat Loaf croons.

Glig-glub, glibitty glub,

            A hot man in my tiny tub;

A bloated, stinking, slimy sub:

                        Not the prostitute that I had ordered.

[ I told you I was crazy ]

The Great Gatsby

So the follow up to "Voltaire's Adventures Before Candide" is a tale from the Great Gatsby; a riff on the piano player Klipspringer and his alcoholism, shoes, and gardening.

Rooster Republic Press is working on the editing and cover design, and we are getting there... though it would have been cool to have done by the time the movie came out, the book is still timeless and I don't feel bad. Here is an excerpt:

When you are eating, throw an Offal to the Dogs that are under the Table, lest they should be tempted to bite you.

Voltaire, Zadig, or “The Book of Fate”

Their kisses were frenzied, hot, and wet. His perfect curls were now loose, her bodice torn asunder by his frail philosopher’s hands, presently fondling her smooth, pale flesh. Emilie’s breathing was heavy, labored, while he merely groaned in pleasure, his lids nearly closed. Sunlight streamed into their bedchamber, catching dust motes in their perfect bars before alighting on the array of clothing scattered across the floor. The dawn’s bright light was reflected in the keen edge of the heavy-handled cleaver, resting quietly in the corner.

A soft knock at the door nearly stopped his heart, a knock most genteel and familiar. She whispered something in his ear as he continued his tender caress, slim fingers on the verge of parting her wet and waiting—

The knock repeated itself. Softer, yet more demanding and assertive this same time.

“My dear...” she purred.

“Ahh...” he sighed, her hands clasped around his rising—

The door began to buckle under a barrage of incessant knocks.