Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Voltaire's Adventures Before Candide

Do you sometimes sit there, in your petty little chair, wondering what it all means? Why are we even upon this planet? What insane person decided to place us here and give us these meaningless, hopeless, idiotic chores to blindly complete? This bizarre story about Candide before he sat down to write Candide will not answer that question, but will at least take your mind off the screaming hell that is reality.
Warning: The following contains material which is harmful to the sane.
I'm serious. If you value any of your connections to reality, stop right here. This is not some trick to get you to keep reading, like a Lights Out episode, it's a real warning. You probably got this for free, and that's a good thing—my other work is not as all-out nutso as this piece of drivel.

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