This frolicking, insane, half-baked novella has been published by Bizarro Press! It includes the original tale of Voltaire and his space- and time-traveling frenzy before composing Candide. Additionally, we have the novella, "Eyre currents... of fire!" in which Voltaire is tasked with the ill-fated rescue of Jane Eyre, who is burning alive. And finally, a gratuitous picture of a -- no, sorry, a prequel to the whole shebang, the story of how Voltaire got his special cleaver (which he did not have in 1484) in the first place.